33 weeks 5 days

Lately I've been totally exhausted all I want to do is lay around and do absolutely nothing. Every chance I get that's exactly what I do. Today I had an OB appointment. Belly is measuring right where it should be between 33-34weeks. Heart rate was good and he was being a busy little bee. The past few days he has been pretty active. He gets the hiccups daily now some days 2-3 times a day. I am still sleeping fairly well but have a hard time getting comfortable. Whenever I try to change positions in the bed I told Hubby I feel like a walrus. Was telling my momma that and she said kind of like the little boy on a Christmas story that is all bundled up and falls in the snow and can't get up. That's exactly how I feel when trying to roll over or get up out of bed lol. I've gained 29.5lbs started out at 116 and am now at 145.5. Should be gaining about a pound a week from now until delivery. My next OB appointment will be 1/7/15 and after that I will be going weekly until delivery. I cannot get over how fast it has flown by. I wish i could bottle up how I feel and keep it forever, the kicks and hiccups I will miss so much. I've never been happier in all my life. We have so much to be thankful for this Christmas. And as wonderful as this Christmas is next will be even better because we will have a little boy crawling around. Can't wait to do Christmas bigger than we ever have before! I'm probably going to start Christmas shopping for his first Christmas in February. Every day will be better because of him! Words can't express the love and joy I have all because of this baby boy.

So close...

 It's amazing how when you're young time seems to drag by, all you want to do is grow up, have the school year end and the days seem to last forever. It feels like the older I get the faster time passes by. My pregnancy hasn't been any different and today I shed a few tears at the realization of how fast it is passing. Just the thought of Grayson's childhood passing so fast already breaks my heart and he has not even arrived yet. My pregnancy will be coming to an end before we know it and we will be holding this little miracle in our arms. I couldn't be happier but it's bitter sweet in a way. Knowing in a few short weeks I will never feel him kick, move, hiccup inside my body again. You never know when a moment will the be last so I'm choosing to enjoy every single little thing. Today he has had the hiccups 3 times and I stop to truly feel it and hold my hand there and just soak it up. My precious little boy is learning how to gulp and breath preparing to meet us soon. God is so amazing. To think in 40 short weeks our boy will develop into a unique little baby. Life doesn't get any sweeter than this. I promise to never take it for granted.

Maternity Sneak peaks...

From our maternity shoot yesterday. These were shot at our home with the talented Nicolette Rackley with a hoot to shoot photography. Love how these turned out and am looking forward to seeing and sharing the rest of them. 32 weeks pregnant!!!

Nursery tour

I've put so much thought into this nursery. It's not just a room but something I've dreamed of my entire life. Especially over the past 4 years I've imagined what this room would look like. When I moved into this house 8 years ago I never imagined it would be 8 years before I'd be creating a nursery, but I'm thankful everything has turned out this way, God's plan. When I found out I was pregnant I had no idea how I was going to decorate the room if our baby were a boy I had it all planned out for a girl. Girls rooms are just easier to decorate and I couldn't find exactly what I wanted with a boy. So when we found out our little miracle is in fact a boy I began looking for nursery decor immediately! I started with the crib which I found online and ordered then I knew I wanted something rustic and found the northwoods bedding made by Trend Lab. It just fit us. Our whole pregnancy has been surrounded by camping, being that I found out I was pregnant while we were camping and had we never got our camper and I actually relaxed for the first time in 4 years I may not be pregnant now. So this is the end result and I couldn't be happier with how t has turned out. I can't wait to bring our baby boy home to his room... That is way more than just a room to me. It's tangible, it's real, we are having a baby Praise the Lord!

31 weeks

Had an OB appointment this morning, and everything looked great. I'm now going every 2 weeks until 36 weeks then will go weekly. Grayson's heart rate today was 145. I'm measuring at 32 weeks. About 4 weeks ago I had blood work drawn which showed high white blood cells and low platelets, so they redrew it today to recheck those labs. Haven't heard results yet. Throughout the past week I've noticed Grayson being more active in the evenings and at night. Hoping he doesn't get his days and nights mixed up. I can feel his actual body parts through my tummy now, not sure if it's a foot or what exactly but I sometimes can feel him pushing and when you rub my belly you can feel it. I love it!! So amazing. He's moving all around as I type this post. 

Update: 12/8/15

Got a call from the doctors office this am and all my lab work is returning to normal so no worries there. God is good he has Grayson and I wrapped in his arms!

Unexplainable...

I remember when I used to write these blog posts and struggle to try to explain the feelings of emptiness and depression that I felt. It was like there were no words to come close to explain what I was feeling, and there weren't, there still isn't. But today I sit here without words to explain the fullness in my heart. To explain to anyone that hasn't been down this road how grateful, how blessed, how overwhelmed with joy that I am is impossible. We go through struggles to appreciate the joys in life. Without a doubt all mothers love their children, all mothers feel an overwhelming love and I'm sure most mothers think that there is no other child in the world loved as much as their's. Not that I think I am or will be a better mother than the other mothers out there, but I will be a better me than I would have been had I not gone through the heartache through the loss. When you struggle for something and obtain it, that something always means more than if you had not struggled. I am overwhelmed and when I say overwhelmed it's because of lack of other words to explain it. Just the thought of my boys tiny toes, his little fingers and nose sends a feeling through me that I will never come close to explaining. It's a love so far beyond what I can even comprehend let alone explain. And I know that love will only grow when I hold him in my arms. I've told Hubby that i don't know how I will even contain mysel, I may sob with joy for days. Today I just feel so thankful. I walk in his room and I praise God for allowing me to experience this! Thank you Lord for giving me this little boy that was meant just for us. As sad as I was with every failed attempt with every day, week, month and year that passed being childless it brought me to this child the one that was meant for us and had it happened years ago like we'd planned it wouldn't be Grayson it just wouldn't be the same! Thank you for that God, beyond words THANK YOU!!