2am

Been awake since midnight. Sleep has pretty much been very little to non existent the last couple of nights. Starting yesterday morning around 7:30am I had a contraction that brought me to tears and scared me, because I hadn't felt anything quite like that before. They came off and on all day yesterday not as severe but mildly. I fell asleep around 9:30pm last night and woke up at 12 with a pain in my pelvis that I have no idea how to even describe, other than it feels like intense pressure on my cervix. It's constant at times and rarely goes away, it worsens when I stand and it has me very concerned about how I will get through the 5 remaining shifts I have left at work. I  have also had indigestion this morning and haven't eaten anything since around 6:30pm. I can't lay down and it hurts to sit up. I am physically to the point that I am ready to get Grayson out, but want him to stay in at a minimum of 37 weeks for his benefit. I just keep thinking if I have to feel like this for weeks I don't know how I'm going to do it. I've never felt anything like this before. I got up to get a glass of milk a few minutes ago to hopefully help with the indigestion and had another intense contraction. I guess that's what it is because my whole entire abdomen gets really hard and it hurts so,so bad very low in my pelvis. I'm very anxious for my appointment Thursday, it can't get here soon enough. Told my hubby tonight I am pretty sure my plans for a natural labor will be out the window and I will be asking for an epidural. 

Feel like I'm being a big baby about it... Every woman goes through this. The hormones aren't helping, I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm pretty sure I could sit here and just cry for hours and I don't even know why. I am happy and I am thankful for all of this.

35 weeks

First off l will start this post by updating what's been going on with me the past week. That miserable third trimester I've been hearing about has hit me. I try not to complain because every time I do I think to myself thank you God for every discomfort every single one because there have been many years I never thought I'd be blessed enough to be here carrying this big beautiful boy. And I say big not because the doctors have told me I will have a big baby but because he feels huge now lol. When I am lying in bed and roll over (which is no easy task) I feel this weight shift and then he moves around and gets all comfy according to how I'm laying. It really is an amazing yet uncomfortable feeling. When I am sitting I am just fine despite the back pain but when I stand this big boy drops and I can feel his weight even more. If I'm on my feet for more than 15-20 minutes at a time I literally feel like I'm going to go into labor at any minute. Braxton hicks contractions  have started this week and my body is preparing to welcome this little miracle. I've got a feeling it won't be long now. I may be surprised and make it to my due date (Feb. 5th) but I really don't think I will. My last day of work is scheduled for January 12th then my work baby shower is the 13th. Thankfully I don't have anymore 8-12hour days where I have to stand on my feet working on the floor. For those of you that don't know I'm a nurse. I will be doing case management the majority of my my last days which is much easier on my body. The last 8 hour shift I worked on the floor I felt like I was dying... Not really but I know if I had to continue that everyday Grayson would be coming sooner rather than later. Lack of sleep hasn't really been an issue with me until the last few days. Last night I had horrible indigestion. I could either sit up and have back pain or lay down and feel like I was going to puke. (Yuk, I know). I kicked my hubby out of the bed last night because I needed the entire bed to sprawl out and get comfortable. Actually I didn't kick him out, he offered to sleep on the couch if it meant I might get a better nights rest and I gladly took him up on the offer. I did feel really bad when I woke up this morning without him by my side and came and apologized and told him to get back in bed. Another new thing this week are my roller coaster emotions. OMG even I am getting on my own nerves. My husband is a saint even though I've called him everything but and cried to him about how I don't feel like he loves me anymore every time I turn around. I cry at the drop of a hat some times I don't even know why. It's insane how many tears I've shed this past week. I had a melt down one day because the house wasn't as tidy as I thought it should be and I didn't have the energy to do anything about it. So what did I do I literally lost it and cried... Pretty much sobbed about it the entire morning. Enough with the complaints. These are truly are the joys of pregnancy and I would take all this times a million if I had to. I love this boy more than words will ever begin to describe and I am beyond thankful to carry him and feel all this! 

2016 this is the year our son will be born, the best year of my life by far. The year that I will be overcome with joy at the sight of his face which I know will be the most perfect little face I will ever lay eyes on. This is the year WE GET TO HOLD OUR BABY IN OUR ARMS!!!! Praise the Lord!

33 weeks 5 days

Lately I've been totally exhausted all I want to do is lay around and do absolutely nothing. Every chance I get that's exactly what I do. Today I had an OB appointment. Belly is measuring right where it should be between 33-34weeks. Heart rate was good and he was being a busy little bee. The past few days he has been pretty active. He gets the hiccups daily now some days 2-3 times a day. I am still sleeping fairly well but have a hard time getting comfortable. Whenever I try to change positions in the bed I told Hubby I feel like a walrus. Was telling my momma that and she said kind of like the little boy on a Christmas story that is all bundled up and falls in the snow and can't get up. That's exactly how I feel when trying to roll over or get up out of bed lol. I've gained 29.5lbs started out at 116 and am now at 145.5. Should be gaining about a pound a week from now until delivery. My next OB appointment will be 1/7/15 and after that I will be going weekly until delivery. I cannot get over how fast it has flown by. I wish i could bottle up how I feel and keep it forever, the kicks and hiccups I will miss so much. I've never been happier in all my life. We have so much to be thankful for this Christmas. And as wonderful as this Christmas is next will be even better because we will have a little boy crawling around. Can't wait to do Christmas bigger than we ever have before! I'm probably going to start Christmas shopping for his first Christmas in February. Every day will be better because of him! Words can't express the love and joy I have all because of this baby boy.

So close...

 It's amazing how when you're young time seems to drag by, all you want to do is grow up, have the school year end and the days seem to last forever. It feels like the older I get the faster time passes by. My pregnancy hasn't been any different and today I shed a few tears at the realization of how fast it is passing. Just the thought of Grayson's childhood passing so fast already breaks my heart and he has not even arrived yet. My pregnancy will be coming to an end before we know it and we will be holding this little miracle in our arms. I couldn't be happier but it's bitter sweet in a way. Knowing in a few short weeks I will never feel him kick, move, hiccup inside my body again. You never know when a moment will the be last so I'm choosing to enjoy every single little thing. Today he has had the hiccups 3 times and I stop to truly feel it and hold my hand there and just soak it up. My precious little boy is learning how to gulp and breath preparing to meet us soon. God is so amazing. To think in 40 short weeks our boy will develop into a unique little baby. Life doesn't get any sweeter than this. I promise to never take it for granted.

Maternity Sneak peaks...

From our maternity shoot yesterday. These were shot at our home with the talented Nicolette Rackley with a hoot to shoot photography. Love how these turned out and am looking forward to seeing and sharing the rest of them. 32 weeks pregnant!!!

Nursery tour

I've put so much thought into this nursery. It's not just a room but something I've dreamed of my entire life. Especially over the past 4 years I've imagined what this room would look like. When I moved into this house 8 years ago I never imagined it would be 8 years before I'd be creating a nursery, but I'm thankful everything has turned out this way, God's plan. When I found out I was pregnant I had no idea how I was going to decorate the room if our baby were a boy I had it all planned out for a girl. Girls rooms are just easier to decorate and I couldn't find exactly what I wanted with a boy. So when we found out our little miracle is in fact a boy I began looking for nursery decor immediately! I started with the crib which I found online and ordered then I knew I wanted something rustic and found the northwoods bedding made by Trend Lab. It just fit us. Our whole pregnancy has been surrounded by camping, being that I found out I was pregnant while we were camping and had we never got our camper and I actually relaxed for the first time in 4 years I may not be pregnant now. So this is the end result and I couldn't be happier with how t has turned out. I can't wait to bring our baby boy home to his room... That is way more than just a room to me. It's tangible, it's real, we are having a baby Praise the Lord!

31 weeks

Had an OB appointment this morning, and everything looked great. I'm now going every 2 weeks until 36 weeks then will go weekly. Grayson's heart rate today was 145. I'm measuring at 32 weeks. About 4 weeks ago I had blood work drawn which showed high white blood cells and low platelets, so they redrew it today to recheck those labs. Haven't heard results yet. Throughout the past week I've noticed Grayson being more active in the evenings and at night. Hoping he doesn't get his days and nights mixed up. I can feel his actual body parts through my tummy now, not sure if it's a foot or what exactly but I sometimes can feel him pushing and when you rub my belly you can feel it. I love it!! So amazing. He's moving all around as I type this post. 

Update: 12/8/15

Got a call from the doctors office this am and all my lab work is returning to normal so no worries there. God is good he has Grayson and I wrapped in his arms!