Anxiously waiting...

Last night Chris gave me my first of many progesterone injections. This injection has to be placed IM (intramuscular). I was so nervous about him doing his first injection on me. He practiced right before with a pillow :). He did a great job with the injection, no pain really. I jumped as soon as it went in because I had gotten myself so worked up and nervous about the whole thing. I don't really know why I was nervous I have taken plenty of injections in my life and I've never been one that is bothered by them. Anyway it went great and there was no pain at time of injection. The pain came later last night. I woke up with a very sore bum. The medication is in oil and is very thick. We heated it in a heating pad prior to injection to help the viscosity of it. I also massaged the area and sat on a heating pad afterward, all things I have read helped. I don't have a whole lot of padding back there so I am pretty sore. We will switch sides each day.

I got a call from the lab today with day 3 update on the embryos. On day 3 they should have 5-8 cells. We had 2 that are lagging behind, 6 that are over that, and 12 that are right on target where they should be. Transfer is scheduled for 12:30 pm on Thursday. There are no dietary restrictions for embryo transfer. Only thing is you must have a slightly full bladder, so they told me to empty my bladder at 12:00pm  then guzzle 20-24 ounces of fluid to be be prepared for the procedure. I am so excited about Thursday. I have dreamed about this day for a while now. I can't wait to see our little embryos. Praying they stick and stay for 9 months.

Practicing right before the first injection!

Vintage Kitchen

I love our vintage kitchen it's my favorite room in the house. I have an obsession with vintage dishes and kitchen items. The Fireking Tulip bowls are one the most recent additions to my collection. I've wanted them so bad and my daddy surprised me with them and a set of Federal mixing bowls. I'd never splurge on these myself. I'm so happy to have them.

We have embryos

I'm a Petri dish mommy!! I had my egg retrieval yesterday and 37 eggs were retrieved. Of those 37 eggs, 19 were set aside for ICSI (intercytoplasmic sperm injection) the sperm is injected into the egg. 14 of those 19 were mature & 9 fertilized. The other 18 of the 37 were set aside to fertilize on their own, 15 of them were mature & 11 fertilized. So we have a grand total of 20 EGGS FERTILIZED. So we have 20 embryos that are being watched closely by the lab. I will get a call Tuesday from them to let me know how they're progressing. On Thursday we will have our embryo transfer. We will be transferring 2 embryos & freezing the rest. I am ecstatic about transfer day. We will get to see our little creations! I pray they stick & we have a viable healthy pregnancy.

Today I started Medrol which is taken twice a day for the next 8 days & is supposed to help the embryo stick & stay. I also started Clabergoline which is taken once daily to hopefully prevent OHSS, which I'm at high risk for. I've been guzzling gatorade & trying to eat salty foods, this helps with the fluid balance in my body that is so out of whack now, the cause of OHSS. Tomorrow I will start daily progesterone injections through 8 weeks gestation. These I'm a bit nervous about, they're IM(intramuscular) & Chris will be administering them.

I'm just praying to the good Lord that his will be done, for strength if this fails, & for a healthy pregnancy if it's a success.

Trigger Injection

After the egg retrieval

Good Luck Ladybug that landed on my arm today.

Update....

Got a call from the doctor's office and I WILL be having egg retrieval Saturday. My E2 level was high so my trigger dosage has been cut in half. I will trigger tonight at 7:30 pm and will have the egg retrieval Saturday morning at 8:00 am. We have to be there at 7:30 am, I'm NPO after midnight tomorrow. They said I am at increased risk for OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) so he will be starting me on a medication to try to help prevent it. I am going to start consuming lots of Gatorade between now and midnight tomorrow night, I've read this helps with prevention of OHSS. OHSS could cause us not to be able to do the embryo transfer because with pregnancy it can worsen and could last through the first trimester. It is a condition that causes fluid shifts, diarrhea, nausea, shortness of breath, among other symptoms. If developed prior to embryo transfer they could possibly put it off, if developed after embryo transfer pregnancy increases the severity. I just pray this doesn't develop and we can go through with embryo transfer, if not embryos will be frozen for transfer at a later date.

Prayers appreciated!

Chickens free ranging

Jack watching over his ladies

Elvira... my favorite.

Not the news I wanted....

I was hoping that at today's appointment we'd see an increase in the size of follicles but they had not grown like we were hoping & expecting. My E2 (Estradiol) level yesterday was 2775 which is high. I was told to hold the Gonal f injection altogether last night, which I did. I continued the Menopur & Lupron. I had another E2 level drawn today and will be called later this afternoon with results and the medication regimen for tonight. I am worried about OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) which is caused by the medications and could result in a canceled IVF cycle. The doctor has not told me this is the case so I am possibly worrying for nothing. But from what I've read E2 over 3000 is at risk for OHSS. We have come so far in this cycle for it to be canceled. I was expecting to be triggering tonight with egg retrieval Saturday. Now I'm just worried like crazy. I go back tomorrow morning for another ultrasound and E2 level. I pray that tomorrow those follicles have grown. Coasting through with no meds trying to get E2 down can cause poor egg quality and I'm also fearful of this. Please pray for us, that the follicles will grow and things improve. If it's just not mean to be be this cycle I pray I have the strength to deal with it. This is just so stressful. I'm so scared. I pray these worries are unwarranted and things look up tomorrow.

It's winding down...

Went in for another ultrasound & lab work today. Follicles (eggs) are maturing nicely. They're measuring around 16.5-17.5 cm now, right on track. Estrogen level will be back this afternoon & the office will call to let me know if I need to decrease my Gonal F dosage again. I go back tomorrow morning for another ultrasound & lab work to see if the follicles have reached maturity. If they have I will take my trigger injection (causes ovulation) tomorrow night & go in Saturday morning for egg retrieval. If they're lacking the growth expected tomorrow then it will be pushed forward to Sunday. So next Thursday we should be having our embryo transfer. I'm so ecstatic about it. I can't wait to see our little embryos.

I feel so overwhelmingly blessed to have the opportunity to do this & I just pray this will lead to our miracle. My heart overflows with joy at just the thought of it... It's a feeling I can't explain. I'll be devastated if this isn't successful, even if that turns out to be the case I'm not losing hope because I know without a doubt God will bless us with a baby at just the right time.

Great Egg Count...

Well I went for my first appointment this morning since starting stimulation injections. Dr. Yalcinkaya did the ultrasound today, as soon as he zeroed in on my ovaries he says "wow". I have lots of eggs in there, which explains the extreme bloated feeling I've had for the past 3 days. I had 15+ eggs in my right ovary and 14 eggs in my left. He said we should get over 2 dozen eggs at the time of egg retrieval... and that's a whole lot. He will be cutting my dosage back today and call me later this afternoon with my new dosage. I am currently on 187 units of Gonal F and 75 units of Menopur daily along with 5 units of Lupron, the dosage of Gonal F will be cut back to prevent OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome). I have responded wonderfully to the meds and couldn't have asked for a better outcome today. We should have lots of eggs left over for freezing.

I go back Wednesday  for another ultrasound and lab work. I will probably find out then when the egg retrieval will be. He is estimating Saturday or Sunday.... which means the embryo transfer will be next Thursday or Friday.

We are so excited and so thankful all reports have been great so far. Keep praying.

Many Visits here to Wake Forest Center for Reproductive Medicine in the past 7 months...
I pray my visits to this place are coming to an end very soon and visits to my OB GYN will begin.

Day 4 of stims

I spent the day riding around in the mountains & antique shopping with my parents today while my hubby worked. Every time I walked by a mirror & saw myself all I saw was my pooch. I feel really bloated & my pants are tighter than usual. I can definitely tell the stimulation meds are working on my ovaries. By the time egg retrieval rolls around I may look a couple months pregnant. No one else would probably even notice but I surely can. I'm excited... Bring on the baby bump!

Baseline...

Today I had my baseline ultrasound appointment... And I'm all clear to start stimulation meds & all other meds tonight. No cysts, Praise the Lord. I also had an estrogen level drawn today. I will start the aspirin, Doxycycline, Menopur & Gonal f tonight. I go back next Monday for another ultrasound to see how things are progressing. Then I go every other day until my egg retrieval. Thank you to everyone that's been praying for us... Keep them prayers going up. I pray that within the next couple of weeks I'm pregnant & stay that way until February!

And it begins....

 It's officially the first day of my IVF cycle! Woo hoo! This past month has went by so slow for me. I'm just so anxious to see our little embryos grow. Last night I was lying in bed imagining what our transfer day will be like, emotional of course. They will attach a tiny little air bubble to the embryos so that we are able to watch the embryos go into my uterus on the ultrasound monitor. I pray that once they get there they stick for the next 9 months. I called today & scheduled my baseline ultrasound, which will be Wednesday morning. This ultrasound is to check for cysts... if cysts are present they will cancel my IVF cycle. So everyone right now please pray for no cysts. If there are no cysts I will begin my stimulation injections this week. This month makes exactly 2 years since we began trying to start our family & I pray this is the month that our sweet baby/babies are conceived.

This has been my daily regimen for the past couple of weeks.... will be adding to it this week.

IVF cycle meds.... minus 1 other pill bottle.

Hope...

At this point I'm just filled with hope. I have started medications in preparation for my IVF cycle. I took Ayegestin for 5 days.... today is my last day on it. I started Lupron injections at 10 units/day Monday which will continue through my stimulation period at a decreased dosage. My emotions have kind of been crazy. I am so thankful and so less stressed out than I've been the several months, just because we're finally here. This is finally happening and I have so much faith that it will work.

We went yesterday for more blood work, medication teaching, and we went over & signed our IVF consent form. My RE's office is kind of disorganized and I've felt like we're flying by the seat of our pants at times, but after yesterday's appointment I feel like I have a better idea of what I can expect. I have no doubt in my doctor's knowledge and capability, he's ranked one of the highest in nation with infertility success rates (& when you get down to it that's all that matters), it's more the office management and staff that I don't have a lot of confidence in.

Here's my calender:
Once I start my period (which should be sometime in the next 7 days) I will start taking the following medications:
-Aspirin 81mg a day and will continue this through 8 weeks gestation.
-Doxycycline twice daily for 10 days (Chris & I both have to take this)
-Prenatal Vitamin
-Gonal F injection
-Menopur injection
-Lupron injection will cut back in dosage but is still continued.

I will then be monitored very closely for approximately 9 days then I will take my trigger injection which prepares the eggs for my egg retrieval surgery. The eggs will be fertilized the day that they are retrieved and approximately 5 days  (depending on how they're maturing) they will become embryos and we will be transferring 2 of them back into my uterus.

The morning after my egg retrieval I will begin taking Methylprednisolone which is considered the "sticking" medication. It helps the body to hopefully not expel the embryo as a foreign object but to help it stick to my uterus lining.

Two days after my egg retrieval I will begin the dreaded Progesterone injections. These are the IM (Intramuscular injections) that I'm not looking forward to. But I have no choice but to just suck it up and make the best of it I guess. I'll just think everyday that Chris is jabbing a long needle into me this is a piece of cake and such small thing to worry about in the scheme of things. If this makes our babies stick then I'd do it a million times over. These will continue daily until 8 weeks gestation. These injections are crucial in the viability of a pregnancy. Without these injections you're almost guaranteed to miscarry.

We will find out soon after this whether or not we have a confirmed pregnancy. We have been asked by many when will we know if it was successful... we are choosing not to tell anyone not even our parent's when our test date will be. We want this to be as much of a surprise as possible. I will be out of work for the 2-3 weeks that this process takes place. This isn't a requirement, but for my sanity, stress level & peace of mind it is. I don't want any chances of tugging, pulling, or standing on my feet all day to interfere with implantation. & being a psychiatric nurse you never know what the day at work might hold. With all we have invested emotionally & financially I don't want to risk anything happening during this crucial time. I've calculated our hopeful estimated due to date to be February 20, 2015.

Please keep the prayers going up, God hears every one and I know we'll be blessed.

Unexplainable...

The emotions you go through with infertility are unexplainable.... there are absolutely no words that could describe the ache & longing you feel. The longer I've dealt with it though I am truly thankful at this point of where I'm at. I'm thankful for the opportunity to realize what a miracle it is to carry a child. I realize this from the depths of my soul. When I become a mother I'll not take one thing for granted. I will be a better mother because of this. I'll cherish every single thing. The other night our dog vomited and I was cleaning it up & I told Chris "I can't wait to get thrown up on by our baby", and it's the truth I will thank God for every dirty diaper, every spit up on me.... every "disgusting" little thing the child does will be a blessing to me. I'll thank God for no sleep because the baby kept me up all night, for temper tantrums because they didn't get their way. I can't wait for those things. All the things other mothers complain about I will cherish, because my heart has ached and longed for it for so long. When/if I am ever blessed enough to experience those things I will remind myself how blessed I am and how all those stressful little things are truly a blessing from above.

We were discussing the other night how long we will keep our frozen embryos if we are blessed enough to have any left over. I told Chris that once I'm 45 we could discard them. He looked at me as if I'm crazy.... like there's no way you're having a baby at the age of 45. I never want to go through this again I never want to have to have another IVF procedure, it is entirely too stressful. I do not want to risk discarding any embryos until I am 100% sure I will never want anymore children. Maybe after I'm blessed enough to have children I will feel differently but until then I will hold onto our embryos as long as possible. Our limit is 3 unless God plans for us to have more.

I just long to be a mother.... every ounce of my being loves our unconcieved child.

Roller Coaster of Emotions

Had my trial transfer, saline ultrasound, and IVF calculation review yesterday. The saline ultrasound was no where near as bad as the first one. My ultrasound looked great. Dr. Yalcinkaya said he wanted to print a picture of the ultrasound to hang on their bulletin board for staff showing what a textbook perfect uterus looks like. He also said although it sounds like an oxymoron that I have very young fertile ovaries. He counted approximately 30 eggs. He said we should have some left over for freezing. I started Aygestin today which is an oral medication I will take today through May 9th. It is to prevent ovulation. I start Lupron on May 5th, which is an injection to also prevent ovulation. Have to make sure once all those little eggies are ready for retrieval they don't release on their own. I found out after my appointment that all of my information had not yet been sent to Invitro Sciences for approval. I was so upset last night worried that we would not be approved medically for the program, our would not be approved in time for me to start meds today. I am such a worry wart & almost drive myself crazy worrying. I was in the middle of a meltdown & Chris says "I think you need to buy some Pyrex". He always says I don't need any more but he knows collecting Pyrex makes me happy. All that worrying was for nothing because today I got a call saying they had reviewed my chart & we're approved. I feel such a relief. This whole process has been such a roller coaster. At least now i should get a couple of weeks without intense stress. One thing's for sure there's nothing smooth about this ride. I called the mail order pharmacy today to order my injectables & will find out tomorrow when they'll be mailed out. I'll be taking gonal f & menopur injections. I've taken the Menopur in the past with one if my past IUI cycles so I luckily had 3 vials left over. At $100 dollars per vial that will save us a little. I'll be like a human pin cushion by the time we finish this cycle. I don't mind the Sub Q (into the skin) injections, but I'm stressing the IM (intramuscular) progesterone injections that will start after the embryo transfer. But like I've said before, honestly I'd cut off a limb to be a mother so I can handle a month of injections... No problem. I'm feeling very blessed to be able to do this & I have so much faith that we'll have our precious baby/babies very soon.