This weekend has not been an easy one. It would have marked 15 weeks of pregnancy. I can't help but think about what I'd be feeling now, would I feel the baby moving, how big would my belly be. This week I would have found out the sex of the baby. I just love & want our baby in my arms. My heart aches. I went a little while without feeling this ache I had been keeping positive thoughts & trying to not think about would could have been, but this weekend I have been just missing & longing for our little angel.
In life I will always work with or see people in public that in my opinion do not deserve children & that will never be easy for me. I work with drug addicts (I'm a psych nurse) so it is evident everyday. To watch a woman curse with every other sentence, drug addict, attention seeking, manipulator play with a beautiful baby girl of her own crushes me. Why does a meth addict who uses God's name in vain at the drop if a hat get to bear a child but I can't? Its hard for me to accept that. I just want a child to love.
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