We returned from our week long vacation to the Great Smoky Mountains yesterday. It was just what we needed. When I booked this vacation I was pregnant & was thinking this would be our babymoon, our last vacation alone before baby came in February. Little did I know I would find out our baby went to heaven on July 17th.
We continued with the vacation because with everything that we've been through this year we really needed the time away. Our first stop was in Pigeon Forge at The Christmas Place. I have a thing for ornaments & I have one for all major life events & one for every vacation I've been on. We purchased an angel ornament in memory of our angel. Our baby will forever be in our hearts. When we left the Christmas place we went into a little boutique that was right beside it. As soon as we walked in there was a section of adorable baby clothes & a couple that looked a little younger than us with their baby that looked to be about 9 months old. They were laughing & purchasing adorable little outfits. We left the store at about the same time they did & they stopped to look at some caged birds they held her to the cage and laughed and pointed the birds out to her. & I felt that heartache that will never go away. We got into the car & I cried, I just hate seeing anything to remind me of my crushed dreams. Sometimes it seems like everyone else even the ones who seem to be undeserving in my eyes get the joy of motherhood while my heart just breaks with the desire. I don't understand why it can't be us.
But I have hope & I pray for peace in my heart to accept His will in my life. We had a great vacation. We spent a week in the gorgeous mountains. We camped for 2 nights at Elkmont campground. As we drove through Cade's Cove on our last full day of vacation I stared at the most beautiful land my eyes have ever seen & I felt blessed. I sat beside the man I prayed for. I have spent many a day wondering if I'd ever have a love like I have now & God blessed me & He is not finished yet.
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| River right across from our campsite at Elkmont Campground |
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| Cade's Cove |
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| Cade's Cove |
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Cade's Cove Methodist Church built in 1902
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It's not you guys; yet. But it will be someday, someway. I can relate to what you write about others who are less deserving. I'm a school counselor and have sat in my office with 20+ students over the last 9 years who "wound up pregnant." Some considered abortion. Some knew their parents would kick them out. Most broke up with the father before the baby was due. I am glad you still took your vacation - I now want to go there some day. It looks straight out of the 19th century, pristine and unspoiled. I LOVE and admire your faith. Let that sustain you, along with your amazing hubby, until baby comes. You WILL be a Mom someday Tara. xo
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