Five months ago I was awaiting my embryo transfer of the baby that I came to love more than words can describe. Here I am 5 months later that baby is in heaven and I am awaiting transfer on monday of 2 embryos that we pray will one day be a baby we hold in our arms. I don't know why i do this to myself but I just finished looking through ultrasound photos, the pregnancy announcement and watching the video of our baby's heartbeat and now I am sitting here sobbing scared to death of that happening again. I absolutely do not feel that I have the strength to go through that again. But I also know that a blessing is coming to us and I will not give up on our dream. I know whatever happens I will survive with God's grace, but just the thought of it makes me crumble. This is my story, my path to walk, and I don't fully understand why right now but one day I will. I am just clinging to my faith and I know that we will be blessed and whatever God's will is for me is what I want. I just pray for strength and peace going into this journey again. We will be parents...we are parents.
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