Nothing about infertility is easy

I'm currently in the waiting period to see if our frozen embryo transfer was successful. We weren't given much confidence by the embryonologist & I've also been spotting since 3dp5dt. I am not very hopeful about this cycle. But I do know God performs miracles everyday & there's still a chance I could be surprised. But I'm also preparing for the worst case scenario.

My husband just got a new job so at the end of the month we will be losing our current insurnace & won't be eligible for insurance at the new job for 90 days. We will have to pay for a private policy until that time & we all know private policies aren't the best when it comes to coverage. Our current coverage pays for infertility meds which is rare with any policy. My doctor is coming up with a protocol for me so we can attempt to get our meds for a fresh ivf cycle called in before our policy is terminated. If not we will be forced to wait a while before moving forward with IVF again. $5000 out of pocket for meds on top of the cost for egg retrieval surgery is more than we can afford right now. We won't have to pay for IVF again as we opted for a shared risk program but we are responsible for the surgery & the meds. If we can get our meds paid for we will plan another fresh cycle in February.

I'm still grieving the loss of almost all our embryos & I'm worried our ivf journey may  come to an end with no baby. We are allowed 2 more FETs & 2 more fresh cycles with our shared risk plan. But our embryos have to be strong to make it FET & this batch obviously wasn't. I never in a million years would have thought we would have no more frozen embryos when we started with 7.

I've never been more heartbroken in my life. The thought of never having children is my nightmare.