Its only 7am & I am already sitting here crying. Sometimes I just don't know why we even try... But that's only for a split second then my motherly desire takes over again & I keep on keeping on. I opened mail this morning that I had piled on the counter from a couple days ago. Of course another big fat medical bill. We just paid out $731 for my D&C. Now another $1123.51is due. And it's "due upon reciept". Why yes we just have that laying around. When we paid $24,000+ out of pocket to create that baby. Its already almost more than I can deal with at times, then the medical bills come. It's like here, just when you thought you'd break down but found the strength not to, another thing to pile onto your problems.Sometimes I just feel like I can't keep dealing with this. All I can do is cry it out then get on with life. But God, why is life so unfair. Yes I'm pouting, yes I'm having a pity party. But I can't be strong all the time. We just want a baby. There are so many people out there that don't deserve their babies that don't love them & we go through all this & still don't have one. Sometimes it's really hard not to question God. But I know that's human nature. & that doesn't make it right. So I ask forgiveness for my questions, and pray for the strength to just keep going.
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