Unexplainable...

I remember when I used to write these blog posts and struggle to try to explain the feelings of emptiness and depression that I felt. It was like there were no words to come close to explain what I was feeling, and there weren't, there still isn't. But today I sit here without words to explain the fullness in my heart. To explain to anyone that hasn't been down this road how grateful, how blessed, how overwhelmed with joy that I am is impossible. We go through struggles to appreciate the joys in life. Without a doubt all mothers love their children, all mothers feel an overwhelming love and I'm sure most mothers think that there is no other child in the world loved as much as their's. Not that I think I am or will be a better mother than the other mothers out there, but I will be a better me than I would have been had I not gone through the heartache through the loss. When you struggle for something and obtain it, that something always means more than if you had not struggled. I am overwhelmed and when I say overwhelmed it's because of lack of other words to explain it. Just the thought of my boys tiny toes, his little fingers and nose sends a feeling through me that I will never come close to explaining. It's a love so far beyond what I can even comprehend let alone explain. And I know that love will only grow when I hold him in my arms. I've told Hubby that i don't know how I will even contain mysel, I may sob with joy for days. Today I just feel so thankful. I walk in his room and I praise God for allowing me to experience this! Thank you Lord for giving me this little boy that was meant just for us. As sad as I was with every failed attempt with every day, week, month and year that passed being childless it brought me to this child the one that was meant for us and had it happened years ago like we'd planned it wouldn't be Grayson it just wouldn't be the same! Thank you for that God, beyond words THANK YOU!!